One day from now, Kim´s 14th birthday and 3 days from now is Sascha´s 17th birthday.
The days and time is so very fast, I feel and think, they are still my babies, which i can do anything what i like, like for example buying their clothes to wear, which they are happy, egal what is the style and brand. the foods what i cook, they just eat without saying, I have no appetite or I am full......
When I say, you should or not do it or I would say, that´s fits you the style or that and that, so and so or yes or na ja......
but now, they have their owned taste and likes, they can say what they want to say, and they can say and tell me what they likes or not...........and they can say to me now, before I got angry or shout at them.........they voice out their reasons now...........but with respect and love.
What I mean, when they´re still in k-garten and school kids, I am the boss, i can do and say what i like for them, without hearing, talking back at me.........the clothes what i bought, they used it without saying its fits me or i don´t like it or or i like it..............they just only weared and used it without bad words.........everything what i bought and liked for them were all good for their eyes.....
in short, everything what i want and likes, they like and wants it too................they´re still my babies who are dependent at me.............
but now, they can do what they like, cooked what they like to eat, go shopping alone without me, they can hold their owned money and buy what they wants and what they needs, without bringing me already..............in short, without me, they can do or buy what they wants and likes....
do what they likes and wants to do???????........ja, but not means that, they can do what they likes or wants which can harm them..........still under parentials guidance.....
and Sascha can now drinks alcohol and can smoke already, if he likes, which we, parents can´t say NO or against it.......................but Kim is not yet allowed on this, until she is 16.
Sascha can go disco and with a curfew hours up tp 12:00 midnight, and kim can´t get inside in the disco house and curfew hours is until 10:00pm.
I am sad?......maybe, cause I am afraid, that someday they are not in my side, in our roof, and would not depend already us or at me...........
I am happy?..........i would say, sometimes,,,,,,,,,,,,,cause i have no more obligations at them, presently, like preparing their foods all time, cause they says, Mama, please don`t cook something for me today or this noon time, cause, i make or cook my owned or I would eat outside or I buy something outside...............
and i can go out right away, wherever i want, na ja 80%?, cause I can trust and depend at them, cause they can manage and care their selves now................
If God wills, sascha has still 3 semester in his school now,then he has to proceed in University, which we don´t know yet where, it´s better if it´s only in the neighboring Uni, then he can still live with us together.
and kim, if she doesn´t like to continue in Real Schule or Gymnasium, she has 1-2 yrs. then she is finished her obligatory school..........then she has to learn a job....................when she learn a job, then she can pay or manage her own flat, she said, she likes to stay with her own...........
see, if all these plans come............then nur bernie and I alone......................kamingaw na no?
..............but, what i pray only that,someday, they have a good job for their future.........can have a good ausbildung-study that they can have a better job.
Then, i can say already Master and Ph.d na si ako in my career..................then when I have already a grandchildren.............then i am successful mother and Lola too..................but please, God, not yet this time......they are still my babies...............
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